zlacker

> someone made an unintentional mysoginistic joke

"mysoginistic" in the sense of "I literally hate women" or in the sense of "I think women are less capable than men" or "I liked a physical feature of her"?

There's more to choose from, the list of things that are called "misogyny" nowadays has gotten incredibly expansive.

>>neycod+(OP)
I think the concept is pretty straightforward? It's if you believe women < men generally (not like, avg(women height) < avg(men height)).

The last one, "I liked a feature of her" is not misogynistic absent of context. The context here is really important. It's like saying "I like your haircut". Did I pass up promotion for another person in a non-modeling job because they had a shitty haircut?

>>tempor+95
I think the problem was the "unintentional" part, which seems to be contradictory.

>>tempor+95
Not sure I understand the analogy. You mean speaking professionally in a professional context is not (should not be?) misogynistic. Then is it not a little strange that you're commenting on a person's haircut, who is not applying for a modeling job for which they're required to cut their own hair?

>>neycod+(OP)
You are right, I should have said sexist joke.

I witnessed such a joke, from a brogrammer -- he thought it was funny, but noone else did, especially knowing how sensitive the female coleague was -- someone broke a pot of plants and he said "Why should we clean it, we have plenty of women around here" -- I just know the guy, the tone of his voice, and so forth, and I know he just tried to be funny, but at the end of the day, that was a sexist remark, we knew it, he knew it after he said it, he should have apologized, but he didn't.

But that was the only instance that struk me as sexist, and the guy always helped female coleagues, in no way did see any other "bad behavior" from him, it was just that guys generally have thicker skins when it comes to jokes and jabs, and he was usually very friendly, I've worked in male teams that were outright toxic, he was nothing like that.

>>unisha+H7
I clarrified it, basically someone made a remark/joke that is clearly sexist, but he never displayed sexism at all.

It was just unprofessional I would say.

For instance I can appreciate a dark joke that would clearly be sexist/racist/antisemitic/homophobic, I can even reproduce it in a like-minded circle of people, and I still don't consider myself sexist/racist/homophobic.

>>tempor+95
You are right that context is everything, but it works both ways.

You can make a sexist joke without being sexist, but it can still be inapropriate/unprofessional, and it can still cost you dearly.

>>raducu+za
Even that example is very suspect - lampooning sexism is not sexism.

>>robert+vi
It's a very, tired joke, and context matters. Like how jokingly saying "call over one of the nerds, they'll sort it out" regarding a difficult problem would be okay in a technology company, but on the risky side (as in, likely to cause a bad feeling) in high school.

Of course, high school kids haven't learned etiquette and don't care, but we want to hold higher standards in the workforce.

>>techbi+J8
You seem to be implying that it's not professional to mention a haircut. What is unprofessional about it?

I've had my haircut mentioned at work… because I'd had a haircut. It's people trying to be nice or make conversation, and neither of those things are unprofessional.

>>brigan+o91
Parent comment seemed to mention promotions based on appearance? Something else?

I understand your point, of course, but it does not actually explain theirs.

>>techbi+1r2
Fair enough, I should've taken that into account.

I work from home so the only person who remarks on my hair is my wife, and her comments, if overheard, might pass for misandry. I'm trying to forment a Twitter mob against her in response.

>>marvin+sp
I agree context matters, which is why the context from the second paragraph of the parent comment is rather important.