I'd love to see this properly explained, because it definitely has a counter intuitive ring to me.
I'm pretty ignorant in this field, and usually I've been a day or so behind the posts (missing the window to press for more information), but I feel like there's definitely some contention there.
Suppose I'm a bank, and I lend you $10 to buy apple tree seedlings. You spend all $10 on seedlings as promised.
The person who sold you the seedlings has $10. You have the seedlings. I have an expectation of getting $10 in the future, presumably from your sales of apples.
Because most people repay their loans, I'm confident I'll get the $10 back, and being a bank, my business is lending money. I might treat the $10 loan as $7 on my balance sheet when I decide how much money is safe to lend out.
Then the price of apples crashes. You come to me and say, 'look, there's no way I'll make $10 selling apples in the time I promised to repay you. Best I can do is deliver you the seedlings or sell them to my neighbor for $3 and give you that'. I grumble a little, but take your deal.
The person you bought the seedlings from still has $10. Your neighbor now has the seedlings and $3 less. I now have 3 real dollars instead of 7 hypothetical dollars. In other words, 4 hypothetical dollars disappeared. When I decide how much to lend out, I'll be basing that on $3 I know I have, instead of the $10 I thought I'd probably get back. I don't lend as much money to aspiring orchardists (orchardeers?), and the price of apples rises.
Edit: This fragility is probably a major factor why some people are so against fractional reserve banking (my counting hypothetical dollars as having value) but without that hack, there's no saying I could have lent you the original $10, so it's a bit of a double-edged sword.
Now our Bank loans out 50,000 of those hackerbucks to Customer B. It does this by crediting her account with 50,000 hackerbucks, but notice that Customer A still has 1 million in his account - so now there's 1,050,000 hackerbucks in apparent existence - we've created 50,000 hackerbucks from thin air. If Customer B withdraws the loan money to go spend it, the Bank will have 950,000 in reserves and an asset worth 50,000 (the loan). Customer B will have 50,000 in cash.
What we've actually done is increase the "M2", one of the measures of how much money is in the economy.
If Customer B either repays the loan or defaults on it, that new money disappears. In the loan repayment case, the Bank goes back to having 1,000,000 in reserves, and in the loan default case the loan asset becomes worthless and it is left with only 950,000 in reserves (the other 50,000 is out there with wherever Customer B spent it).
The default is a side effect of that outcome, not its cause.
So sure, the loaned money might still be in the system in some naive sense, but value has been destroyed in the asset price? Suddenly a lot less money buys a lot more asset and that's where we find the deflation.
If I borrow 1M for an asset in good times and can't pay it back, the creditor gets the asset and probably gets a good portion of that 1M back. If that same scenario plays out in bad times and my whole street defaults on the same asset at once, there's a resulting fire sale and far more value is destroyed (including being wiped off neighbouring, non-creditor-owned assets of the same type) than money added by leaving the loan sloshing around somewhere else in the economy.
So the bank's speculative asset loses value: I struggle to see this as money being destroyed as it wasn't actually money, it was an asset with a price attached to it which has now changed. In contrast to money sat in your bank account, the price was never redeemable (you couldn't go spend it on beer) unless you used that asset to get the debtor to pay you back (or convinced someone else it was worth buying from you as a speculative asset). You might as well say money is destroyed when share prices tumble. Maybe this is the point of such arguments, to make the case that money is no different to any other asset, but we don't tend to treat it like that in reality. Or do we?
Suppose I buy a painting. I believe it to be an original Van Gogh so I pay $10 million for it. I then find out it is fake, and worthless. Was $10 million (of money) destroyed? Of course not, I just mis-valued an asset. Suppose it then turns out to be real after all. Owing to the fascinating history of this painting it is now valued at $20 million. Was $10 million of money created (relative to the moment when I originally thought it was a Van Gogh)? No. Was $10 million of wealth created? Yes as the world now has one more thing worth $10 million in it.
Money != wealth, even in the materialist sense where wealth consists purely of goods and services. Money is a metric we use to keep track of wealth, and in general it's considered helpful if that relationship holds, so if we're trying to maintain that relation rigorously the central bank should print another $10 million (or create it by making loans) to reflect our knowledge and appreciation of the Van Gogh - if it doesn't then the existing fixed quantity of money in the system will now be representing a greater quantity of wealth, causing deflation.
As I said in my other post I am not an economist by training. If the economists want to call this thing that got created/destroyed here "money" then I guess I should let them, but I would like to hear a good reason why it makes sense to do so, and I haven't heard one. Absent of a good reason I might as well call it haddock. Or, considering the OP was asking which things that could be explained better, we could acknowledge what any good programmer knows: part of a good explanation is choosing the right names for things.
When that loan asset is written down the bank has to make up the difference from its equity - this ends up reducing the amount of loans it can write, so you get a contraction in the monetary supply.
So in the end, I guess the shorter answer is that a default destroys money in the same way that writing a loan creates it - you might well complain that no actual currency has been created or destroyed, but the argument is that it has a similar overall effect.