But wasn't that valid cause for concern, especially for someone who should be a growing boy? If being underweight was a serious medical concern for him, losing 5 pounds seems like a big flashing red warning that something could be going wrong.
Maybe I'm misunderstanding your story, but from what you've written, it sounds to me like their intervention successfully ensured he was eating enough when he wasn't before?
Weight isn't the only metric that matters.
What it actually means is "something for which social workers will decide whether to take your child away from you for". That's a pretty big escalation from a "valid concern", but one that happens if "the system" decides you are a target. "A valid concern" is in that case a code word for "credible presumptive evidence of child abuse". A child being underweight is a valid thing to be concerned about, it is not on it's own credible presumptive evidence of abusive parenting, no.
They had absolutely no reason to believe I was abusing him. Most likely, they were just trying to cover their own butts and err in that direction rather than in the direction of "what's best for this child?"
That's without getting into larger concerns of "What on earth is wrong with the world that a junk food diet is the medically recommended diet for a serious medical condition?"
They recommend sugary foods. It's a condition that puts one at high risk of diabetes.
They recommend ice cream as a high fat, high calorie food. It's a condition that predisposes people to having trouble tolerating milk and milk products, especially from cows.
I was molested as a child. I know a fair amount about abuse.
There isn't always a clear bright line between ignorance and abuse. Assuming the worst can make the problem worse.
People tend to not be paragons of virtue who have all the answers for everything they run into. Some people can be helped to become better parents.
I thought long and hard about that while sending care packages to a couple of welfare moms. Declaring them unfit moms and having their kids taken and placed in foster care wasn't some magic solution that guaranteed a fabulous outcome, so I chose to try to help them succeed to whatever degree I could, on a limited budget and from a distance.
If we were applying the default "random stranger" rules, the story never would have been shared in the first place.
The solution to reducing risk and harm is not to always err on the side of assuming abuse and making families prove otherwise.
As I've said elsewhere in this thread, I'm glad I don't have to make these calls.