zlacker

Everytime github goes down, and my push/pull is rejected, I immediately assume they’ve discovered I’m incompetent and fired me. And I’m the head of engineering at my company.

>>edgyqu+(OP)
> And I’m the head of engineering at my company.

Haha! Happy to see impostor syndrome goes all the way to the top of the hierarchy.

>>edgyqu+(OP)
You’re not alone.

>>edgyqu+(OP)
I think the same thing every time my credentials to our issue tracker expires and I have to log in again.

I am the lead dev on two projects.

>>edgyqu+(OP)
I resonate with this.

>>edgyqu+(OP)
Sounds kind of like those dreams where you can only run slowly, punch with noodly arms and trying to turn on a light just has a dim effect.

>>Maxion+o3
Is there a name for firing trauma? I'm like this ever since I was scapegoated.

>>Commit+p7
I got logged out of our slack today, which I'm the primary owner of, and I was also wondering this.

I've also never been fired, so, it isn't always linked to trauma from past firings.

>>edgyqu+(OP)
Ooof, I felt that. My project management system logs me out a few times a year and each time it happens my heart rate elevates.

>>edgyqu+(OP)
Well im IT Teamlead and imposter syndrom hits me hard too. Always wonder when the day will come.

>>edgyqu+(OP)
At a friend's company, the CEO had a calendar invite of "Fire Dan", for April 1. Dan went to confirm it was an April Fools' joke. It wasn't!

>>Commit+p7
I’m no mental health professional, but that sounds like literal PTSD, to me.

>>edgyqu+(OP)
thats not very healthy given how unreliable github has become in recent years.

E.g. just yesterday for a short time frame of a few hours maybe half a day or so they had a bug where some closed PRs where shown in the personal which show created _not closed_ PRs.

Or github CI having spurious job cancellations or sometimes on a job failing waits until some (quite long) timeout is reached before reporting it.

Or it temporary being (partial or fully) down for a few hours.

Or it's documentation even through rather complete somehow managing to be often rather inconvenient to use. Oh wait that's not a bug, just subtle bad design, like it's PR overview/filters. Both cases of something which seems right on the first look, but starts being more and more inconvenient the more you use it. A trend I would argue describes GitHub as a whole rather well.

>>dathin+Gz
Something internal must be going on at Microsoft. My company's PowerBI service has had some major performance issues over the past week

>>maximi+ow
wtf. that's pretty cold.

>>edgyqu+(OP)
I get this feeling when I get kicked out of Google services at a different time than my usual 7 days (Monday) log out. I'm an admin of the Google services we use, and I still get that stomach dropping feeling.

>>maximi+ow
This is something my boss would post in his calendar publicly without even thinking of it. I guess it helps me to get ahead of it, if it were to ever happen to me, but having the rest of the company able to see it is pretty cold and unfeeling.

>>Commit+p7
Borderline imposter syndrome?

>>jachee+6y
There’s a long list of signals that can trigger folks into layoff panic.

>>antoin+g2
Something that I've found that helps me with impostor syndrome is to read and talk about it.

Check out this Ted talk from the co-founder of Atlassian.

https://www.ted.com/talks/mike_cannon_brookes_how_you_can_us...

>>edgyqu+(OP)
Cannot login to slack

>>edgyqu+(OP)
I hope you are not contributing production code.

>>edgyqu+(OP)
I feel this in my bones. Every. Single. Time.

>>Commit+p7
Can you describe what happened that qualifies as "scapegoated"?

>>Commit+p7
Sudden self-awareness of bias?

>>36508656