zlacker

The goal is not to replace common words with less common ones, but imprecise words with more precise ones, especially those with connotations and implications that more closely fit the surrounding writing.

There's a place for plain, utilitarian writing, but your complaint is a bit like saying Vermeer is a pretentious wanker because he paid more attention to colour and symbolism than the illustrator who did the images for my microwave's instruction manual.