Not sure how you calculate 40% but that sounds wildly off, unless you are cherry picking and comparing a Rav 4 to that wildly heavy Hummer.
Lets take a real comparison though, Model Y at the top end is 4400lbs, a Rav4 at the top end is 3600lbs. Thats a 22% increase, heavier yes but not 40%.
Edit: Here is one source to show why EVs are not tearing up the road. https://twitter.com/ajisuzu1/status/1681123111364620294?s=46
My TLDR is there is essentially a cutoff where the weight matters. Going from 3800lbs to 4400lbs is not whats causing damage, its the 60,000lb loaded semi (and I think 80k is actually the max weight cutoff.
Edit: turns out my car weighs even less.
Edit2: asked Google for most common, seems Tesla Model S at around 2100 kg.
Rav 4 - Model Y is a good comparison to capture the extremes. Lexus Rx 350 is 4200lbs for their base trims.