zlacker

>>gmays+(OP)
My take is that with the rise of social media and online lives, people have things to fill their time with that are a placebo for real relationships. They work, get home and then doom scroll or play games for 4 hours and go to bed. This eats into the time people used to spend socializing and meeting people in real life. The reduction in religion further eats into this as people would socialize at church, temple, etc. Adding to this is the incredible division between political parties and the social wars now that effectively narrow the options of a mate.

>>wonder+Gc
At least everything you mentioned was completely optional and there are tons of public places to meet people.

Outdoor malls, hobbies, gym, parties, libraries, book stores, parks, heck ask chatgpt.

F society who says you can't talk to strangers, those are losers. Say Hi, ask about jobs/hobbies, if they arent interested, you can tell from body language. Tell them it was nice talking to them and leave. They won't remember how you cold-opened, heck in 3 days they won't remember you at all.

>>hospit+jd
Sure there are plenty of public places, church [I'm not religious] etc. though ensured you had something in common. Imagine being the attractive girl at the gym trying to work out and every time you go, 4 dudes come up and hit on you, day after day after day. Or the married woman that doesn't wear a ring just trying to grocery shop for her family and cant get down isle without being hit on. Parties and bars sure, I get it.

>>wonder+Yd
Doesnt matter if they are attractive or just trying to grocery shop. You can still talk to people.

I was at a wedding a few weeks ago, specifically looking for donors or entrepreneurial minded people. When I found out that a dude worked at Amazon Warehouse, I didn't turn around and walk away, I wrapped up the conversation and--- Oh my gosh this guy has a super cool hobby with a ton of skill. I got his phone number because this person and I might benefit from connecting later. Who knows.

But more than half the conversations will flop, who cares. You and they lost a few minutes of life communicating, how terrible! Call it practicing social skills if you need to.

>>hospit+Df
Its not the initiator I am talking about, its the person getting hit on. Imagine having to deal with that all the time. I liken it to telemarketers. I get 4 a day sometimes, eventually I just tell them to F off in my moment of weakness because I am trying to just have focus time. Eventually the person being hit on every day will hit a breaking point and be rude, then she is labeled a bitch by that person and every time she goes to the gym she feels awkward because the dude she snapped at glares at her. Sometimes people just want to be left alone 95% of the time people at the gym want to be left alone.

When I am out I have zero interest in talking to people. Nothing worse than being in the mall and a person walks up trying to sell me something. That's what people who hit on others in public are doing, trying to sell something, themselves in this case.

>>wonder+ph
This is almost entirely in your head.

Just to be clear, I'm not saying to interrupt someone mid-run or talk to someone focused with ear-buds in.

If someone is leaving the gym, you can say 'hey got a sec?', If they answer 'no', that is their answer.

(Also, people who put makeup and tight pants on for the gym, are looking to be hit on. The people trying to be ignored, will put 0 effort into their appearance and will have a stare 100 ft in front of them. Even if you miss these signs, the worst thing that is going to happen is that you are turned down and they wasted 5 minutes. I'm sure the married people ITT had no issue interrupting these beautiful people's precious time. )

EDIT: If you need to, have a bonus reason for talking to someone: "I'm trying to find someone who knows nutrition for a nonprofit" or "I'm looking for a mechanical engineer for a product I'm thinking about".

>>hospit+Hi
> Even if you miss these signs, the worst thing that is going to happen is that you are turned down and they wasted 5 minutes.

I'm not at all in the same camp as the other commenter (it's clear where their allegiances lie) but you really are in the wrong here.

You have no idea how frequently these seeming-innocuous conversations turn verbally or physically violent when the initiator feels spurned.

This is provable! Try it sometime-- play catfish on a dating app and see for yourself.

> "Hey, can I have a second of your time?"

> "No, sorry, I'm in a hurry." [Or just don't respond.]

> "Fucking worthless bitch..."

There's no need for it. That's not interrupting someone's precious time. If in-person, the woman is going to see this guy again in some context, knowing she pissed him off. She sees him as a threat, and he sees her as a source of humiliation. This creates a hostile situation for both.

I've directly investigated enough histrionic cases to believe "you were asking for it" is absolutely a thing for cluster-B types (sometimes even literally, in fucking print), but am telling you the makeup, clothing and demeanor are not deterrents. Women could look like aloof genderless homeless blobs and still get harassed. It's just a hostile world out there.

>>jstarf+0l1
just out of curiosity, where do my allegiances lie? Interested to see how I come off?

>>wonder+iI1
Introvert and bachelor