zlacker

Yeah why even send them a message if you're not interested in actually talking? What do they get out of it? What do you get out of it?

>>shortr+(OP)
Agreed. The blog post starts off fairly well, with step 1 to being a good human being, but pivots ironically at the end to a list of ways not be a human being.

It feels more like how to do the minimum possible without doing absolutely nothing.

>>shortr+(OP)
You might have been interested in continuing the conversation if the other person didn't descend into trash-talking first. I think that's the message the author is trying to convey.

But I agree with you that "I can't continue this conversation" is probably not the best way to respond, even in that case.

>>kijin+U2
This person has been let go and you're reaching out _to them_.

If you don't care about the person and their emotions, don't say anything. Nobody else will know otherwise (other than the person you clearly don't actually care about). Feigning care is sometimes worse than just clearly not caring at all.

>>John23+W3
Just because you have a limit to how much you're willing to care about somebody doesn't mean that you are feigning the care that you do give.

Most people have reasonable expectations about how much care they can expect from some random colleague from a past project.

>>shortr+(OP)
I actually got an email like from an old co-worker after I was fired. It was done much in the vein of the advice in this post. It was short, friendly, and made no pretence about staying in touch. I gave a short, friendly response and that was that. I gotta say I actually really did appreciate it, and still do. Of course, I wasn’t exactly upset about being fired so I don’t know if this counts.

>>kijin+K4
> Just because you have a limit to how much you're willing to care about somebody doesn't mean that you are feigning the care that you do give.

And the limit is just engaging with someone in a way that they didn't ask you for, and in a manner that doesn't serve them at all?

> Most people have reasonable expectations about how much care they can expect from some random colleague from a past project.

The context here is a person who was just let go. Like, not an old buddy from a previous job.

Maybe it's the New Yorker in me, but if you're not going to serve a purpose, emotionally, financially, physically, etc... mind your own business.