zlacker

Why did you let the conversation drift around to “if you were making big bucks why are you cooking for us now”? That’s a remarkably rude thing to ask for absolutely no reason other than ego.

>>hluska+(OP)
You’ve never chatted up a bartender where they end up telling you personal things after years? Maybe after they’ve served you food and beverage for a long time, you bond over X (sports, politics, whatever) and end up feeling like friends?

I hafta say, it seems like you’re the one with the ego.

Edit: if I had to guess, the cook probably said something like “I made a lot more money before I worked here.” And was then asked why.

>>hluska+(OP)
Seems normal to me

>>hluska+(OP)
This my friends is the danger of making judgements without context.

>>hluska+(OP)
It's not rude at all.

First, the commenter could have been paraphrasing a longer conversation that led to that question.

Second, the "I used to be somebody" conversation is more common than you think. Asking "If you were somebody, what happened?" is usually the question that is being invited to be asked if someone brings up this topic.

>>hluska+(OP)
If you were talking with a friend, and you learned he used to make millions on Wall Street, you’d not even think of considering asking why he gave it up?

>>hluska+(OP)
Not rude at all. I used to make several million a year. Then I got arrested and bank accounts frozen. I had to work stacking shelves in a supermarket. All my colleagues thought I was a BS artist when I said what I used to earn, and asked that question. Why wouldn't they? it's incongruous.

>>hluska+(OP)
In the context of "a house full of frat boys", your use of the term "rude" appears naive at best.

>>hluska+(OP)
(I don't get why the post was dead, so I vouched for it.)

He was talking about making good money in IT, so I asked why he didn't continue working in IT. (At least that's how I remember a conversation from over 20 years ago.)

He was originally talking about playing computer games on early computers, so I thought I'd get a story about why he left tech. (IE, laid off and had to change careers, couldn't keep up with changes, didn't like the stress.) I was quite surprised that he was a felon.

He really didn't tell me much about what he did, either. I don't want to repeat much here, other than to say he got greedy.

At a high level I don't think there's anything wrong with what he did. There's plenty of legal activities that are "grey" morally: Oil companies, tobacco companies, investments (stock, 401ks,) where ordinary people don't realize the nasty things the companies they own do...