Internal metrics: Healthy
External status check: Healthy
Did ops announce an incident: No
Backend API latency: )`'-.,_)`'-.,_)`'-.,_)`'-.,_)`'-.,_)`'-.,_)`'-.,_)`'-.,_
And when there's disagreement between indicators I can draw my own conclusions.I guess in reality the very existence of a status page is a tenuous compromise between engineers wanting to be helpful towards external engineers, and business interests who would prefer to sweep things under various rugs as much as possible ("what's the point of a website whose entire point is to tell the world that we're currently fucking up?").
This is equivalent to step 3 :)