I don't know how the D3D design process worked in detail, but it is obvious that Microsoft had a 'guiding hand' (or maybe rather 'iron fist') to harmonize new hardware features across GPU vendors.
Over time there have been a handful of 'sanctioned' extensions that had to be activated with magic fourcc codes, but those were soon integrated into the core API (IIRC hardware instancing started like this).
Also, one at the time controversial decision which worked really well in hindsight was that D3D was an entirely new API in each new major version, which allowed to leave historical baggage behind quickly and keep the API clean (while still supporting those 'frozen' old D3D versions in new Windows versions).
This is interesting. I have always wondered if that is a viable approach to API evolution, so it is good to know that it worked for MS. We will probably add a (possibly public) REST API to a service at work in the near future, and versioning / evolution is certainly going to be an issue there. Thanks!
In practice for DirectX you just use the header files that are in the SDK.