One could also use DNS TXT as an RDBMS with some interesting fault tolerance and distribution schemes. That doesn't mean it's a good idea or the best way to solve a problem.
If you haven't seen them already, the Jepsen analyses are really worth a read: https://aphyr.com/posts/293-jepsen-kafka https://aphyr.com/posts/282-jepsen-postgres https://aphyr.com/tags/jepsen