zlacker

First of all, getting rid of Unicode is not going to happen. Don’t ask.

Getting rid of images might be doable, but still difficult. Talking features away from people is politically difficult.

>>notrid+(OP)
You know what else is "politically difficult"? Getting journalists and such killed because they're in a hostile nation, and your phone is vulnerable to remote zero-click exploits with full pwnage.

Give users the option. If you're not 100% confident in your parsing (and nobody should be), allow users the option to restrict parsing to something that's limited, tested, fuzzed, and generally trusted. People who care can turn it on. People who want touch memojis on their watch can leave it off.