That's a bit naive. Governments want surveillance technology, and will pay for it. The tools will exist, and like backdoors and keys in escrow, they will leak, or be leaked.
The reason why all those other industries are regulated as much as they are is because governments don't need those types weapons they way they need information. It's messy and somewhat distasteful to overthrow an enemy in war, but undermining a government, through surveillance, disinformation, propaganda, until it collapses and is replaced by a more compliant government is the bread-and-butter of world affairs.
Non proliferation treaties are effective against nuclear weapons theyd be effective against "cyber" weapons.
No, they want weapons that can project and multiply threat. Nukes are just one way of doing that.