zlacker

Sounds like a lot of your anxiety comes from not having insight into the experiences of people that end up experiencing racism and sexism. You have the option of doing a bit of research and a bit of work to understand the 'other side' in these interactions. This pays off in a couple ways. First, you'll be more at ease in your interactions with women/POC. Second, people in those groups do notice when people put in a bit of self-work to build that empathy and create a good environment for that and over time will see you as an ally. Is that a process that you're willing to engage?

>>0_____+(OP)
I'm not sure what that process would look like, but I'd be interested. I think the world needs more empathy and I have no doubt there is a lot I can learn. However, I'm skeptical that my anxiety comes from a lack of insight or understanding.

I do not have these sorts of worries around people with whom I am well acquainted. I know I'm not prejudice and I trust my friends to interpret my words and actions in good faith. But I recognize there is a minority of people out there who will intentionally take what I say or do in bad faith if it benefits them. People like that exist in all groups, regardless of physical traits. When interacting with a minority or protected class, I have to worry just as much about interpretations of those around me as that of the person I'm interacting with. In a world where accusations of prejudice are often met with a guilty-until-proven-innocent mentality, any such accusation is very damaging regardless of who it comes from.