zlacker

Very interesting to read. I wonder if some of this is due to neutral statements in English tending to carry a negative connotation. If I say "I want to come over tomorrow but I'm not sure if I can make it" - that actually means "I do not want to come over tomorrow".

You /can't/ communicate without euphemisms, and trying to will always fail and make you seem like a dick even though you're just being straightforward. That is likely where the difficulty you've experienced comes from.

(For context, your exact situation occurred this weekend. I was invited to an event and said yes, but both me and my friend knew that I would not attend)

>>soared+(OP)
You shouldn't lie in a response to an invitation.

>>sneak+n1
We’re lost the formal flowery language of the English which was designed to communicate things like this more precisely - “I regret that I will be unable to attend but I appreciate the invitation and cherish our relationship” or similar.

>>soared+(OP)
No, its cultural. Australians and Brits don't suffer from the same over-the-top positivity for positivity sake

>>Khaine+6f
But Brits certainly do use the same kind of highly indirect non-literal phrasing. We're famous for it.

This reminded me of this infamous bit from Yes, Minister, and although it's not actually entirely an example of this, it's too good not to share now i've found it:

Sir Frederick: There are four words to be included in a proposal if you want it thrown out.

Sir Humphrey: Complicated. Lengthy. Expensive. Controversial. And if you want to be really sure that the Minister doesn't accept it, you must say the decision is "courageous".

Bernard: And that's worse than "controversial"?

Sir Humphrey: Oh, yes! "Controversial" only means "this will lose you votes". "Courageous" means "this will lose you the election"!

[1] https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5v4rhe?start=1100

>>sneak+n1
I think you misunderstood? If the message being conveyed is understood by everyone involved it’s not a lie. Your post can claim the words are a lie I guess, but not in this culture.

>>bombca+ea
Modern English is perfectly capable of handling this.

"I can't make it, but I appreciate the offer."

>>twic+4Y
Right, but brits don't use that language to puff people up.

There is a reason america is number 1 in confidence, but ranked 25th in math and 21st in science out of the top 30 developed countries.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atkimTc_Pi4