For what it's worth, I grew up in a town that was roughly half jewish, reflected in my circle of friends. When I was younger, extremely crass jokes that made light of historical tragedies were made at everyones expense, including ones that historically affected my family. It was clear that the intent of these was not to instill terror or provoke hatred. It was more of a pissing contest, to see who could say the most absurdly offensive thing.
Were these the types of situations where we should have had more sensitivity to the real weight of these tragedies? Sure.
Were these hate crimes? Absolutely not. When someone commits a hate crime against you, you probably wouldn't regularly invite them over to your house for the next several years...
That's curious given your background. I know a couple of people that still have the tattoos on their arms and one guy who literally has no family at all and it pains me to see that people think that this is just a matter of bad taste. "Gas the Jews" is not a joke, my sense of humor is pretty broad but it does not stretch that far.
I can't even count the number of comedy central stand-up specials I've seen that casually make jokes about absolutely horrific things that destroy lives. Jokes that play on children dying, slavery, the holocaust, rape, murder, pedophilia, torture, etc. I guarantee you that both you and I both know someone (or are one person removed, at most) that has had their lives destroyed by one of these things, or something of a similar caliber. Does that mean that none if these jokes can be funny, in any context? If so, I'd say you'd be hard pressed to find a single comedy special that counts as funny; virtually every comedy special I've seen makes light of one of these horrific things in some way.