But why is that? Isn't what is driving these concerns these never-ending "women in STEM" discussions that paint the field in a very negative light?
If I were entering a field an constantly hearing how horrible it is, I would also be concerned.
> distressful and distasteful comments.
Why are comments that talk about distributions of preferences being a probable cause distressing? What is "distasteful" about them?
Why is it distressing/distasteful to say 'hey, the field you have chosen to enter is actually not full of horrible people that will treat you badly because you are a woman'? In fact, it is somewhat friendlier (some studies say a lot friendlier) to women than it is to men? How is that horrible?
To me, the consistent bombardment of claims that the field is horrible would be a much larger deterrent.
That's one of the problems. Nobody wants to be the special kid. The one you invite to all the meetings to be a token. The one who can't even be certain if their achievements are worthwhile or simply artificially inflated.
Being insincerely friendlier to women in a professional environment is, in fact, sexism. It is a form of gender prejudice and gender bias.