This is one of those squishy things that's hard to assess. For me, I would stop short of a title that would be unacceptable if you substituted a (private) person's name for the company/country/whatever mentioned. If it was "Susan has absolutely no idea how to ..." I would call it "over the top" myself, but I'm no moderator. The guidelines also discourage "gratuitous adjective[s]" in titles, of which "absolutely" applies.
> Do authors have no say in what they call their piece?
Absolutely. No one is asking smashcompany.com to change their title. But this isn't smashcompany.com either.