I feel like it's mostly consumers who ask for native look, and particular users on macOS, as almost all other professional-oriented software doesn't offer that. But yet it comes up for every GUI toolkit that lands on the HN frontpage.
I don't even think native macOS UI is so great cross-plat programs should target it. It's full of its own weird conventions like a "New item" button being a tiny "+" at the bottom of the left sidebar, the last place I always look.
Safari is an example of UX that has stuck to hard macOS conventions and was always worse off for it. Not until recently did it begin relenting, and now it's bearable to use as a daily driver. Xcode is another classic example of hostile native macOS UX conventions. Finder.app is another.
I'd rather software ask "what's the UX that makes the most sense?" rather than "how can I make my UI look native?" On HN people seem to think by solving the latter, you solve the former. But that isn't the case.
The preference for native look was once about the impact of familiarity on usability. When 95% of people's interactions with computers was a single OS and native apps, they would expect controls to look a particular way. They could figure out other variants, sure, but from a UX design perspective, there's little reason to add that minor cognitive overhead needlessly.
Today, people's experiences are less likely to be monoculture like they once were, which dilutes one of the values of native controls. That's not to say designing with familiarity of controls in mind doesn't have value, just that it's less about, for example, buttons looking like buttons native to the OS, and more about visually reading as "this is a button" more generally.