But I think a lot of it is also about knowledge and documentation. If I want to copy FAANG or another startup, and set up an infinitely scalable queue-based architecture, I can find dozens of high quality guides, tutorials, white papers etc, showing me exactly how to do it. Yes maintenance is higher, but I can get set up with redis, SQS, any of the 'scalable' solutions within a few hours of copy-pasting commands and code and configuration from a reputable source.
If I want to use NOTIFY in postgres? I googled "SQLALchemy notify listen postgres" and I find a few unanswered stackoverflow questions and a github gist that has some code but no context.
I would honestly love to use this approach for a side project, but I don't have 2-3 days to figure it out on my own. The direct choice for me might seem to be
* simple, but not scalable (ie just use postgres)
* complex, but scalable (ie redis, sqs, whatever)
and then it's a tradeoff, and the argument goes that I am blinded by cool tech and FAANG and I'm choosing complex but scalable, even though I don't need scalable.
But taking into account guides and other resources, the choice for me is actually
* complex and not scalable (this, because I don't know how to implement it and I can't predict what pitfalls I might face if I try)
* simple and scalable (what everyone actually does)
and that makes the engineer's choice to follow faang look a lot more reasonable.
It's even worse than you say though. As someone who has used neither Postgres or Redis for queueing, how am I supposed to know what is the "simple" solution here and if it really solves my problem?
Almost everyone uses solution X. A few people are saying "no, just use solution Y, it's obviously enough and far simpler". Even if it is far simpler, how am I supposed to know whether there are some hidden gotchas here?
Much safer to bet on technology that is proven to work, given that large amounts of people are using it in production for this purpose.