If you wanna actually find yourself in a relationship, do what I did and travel to other countries. Contrary to the mainstream narrative perpetuated by american propaganda, most women outside america aren't "poor and uneducated and looking for a passport."
A lot of being single is tied pervasive poverty. For folks living paycheck to paycheck, how might they get to another country and then support themselves there?
if you're living paycheck to paycheck, get yourself out of that situation first. I know its harsh but you have no business contributing to a relationship till you're able to take care of yourself beyond the bare minimum. Not only that but you can take the most risks to change your status quo when you're single. you don't have anyone dependent on you and no one who's time you accountable to.
Basically if you're single and living paycheck to paycheck, suck it up, educate yourself and work on moving up in life before I try to bring someone into your life. Way too many people are stuck in life because they try to furnish a livingroom when they don't even have a foundation.
To clarify, you're saying no one earning less than 4x typical wages should be in a relationship. Did you date much in high school?
> if you're living paycheck to paycheck, get yourself out of that situation first.
So married couples who've hit hard times should do what, divorce and send the kids to foster care?
> Basically if you're single and living paycheck to paycheck, suck it up, educate yourself
Is it your opinion that there is an abundance of high paying jobs that accept degrees and certs from the University Of Sucked It Up And Educated Self?
Or are you thinking about non-degree'd high paying jobs? While there are more than zero, non-degree'd typically means the type of specialized skills that lie on the other side of well entrenched gatekeeping. However, one can overcome gatekeeping. All one needs is enough connections, cash, years and luck - the same sort of stuff it takes to get a university degree.
Couldn't get girls to look at me, much less date me in high school. And whatever amount of money you need to make is determined by the women you are trying to attract. I don't make the rules there but its on you to demonstrate your value to your potential partner in a way they can understand.
> So married couples who've hit hard times should do what, divorce and send the kids to foster care?
the original question proposed that you were single at the time. If you're already in a relationship and have responsibilities (ie: kids) that's different. You obviously can't abdicate preexisting responsibilities and I'm not suggesting that anyone do such a thing.
> Is it your opinion that there is an abundance of high paying jobs that accept degrees and certs from the University Of Sucked It Up And Educated Self?
why are you waiting for a high paying job? you should be focusing on developing a high earning skill. spend a few hours a day learning to code or maintaining linux boxes. you can get a minisforum pc for as little as $400 (I'm typing on it as we speak). coding isn't your thing? hop on fiverr and figure out what jobs are in demand. a lot of software like onshape is free to learn and plenty of places will hire you to use it. you won't make much money but you'll pickup useful skills that develop overtime. Hell I saw a youtube interview of a guy in his 20's making 10k MMR washing windows for clients he met going door to door. I'm not badass enough to do that but I'm not hungry enough to do it either.
If you are living in america, you're already setup with advantages that can put you ahead if you take advantage of them. using square or stripe, you can easily charge cards. through the internet, you can advertise services to people. you have cheap banking to store your money safely. getting an LLC means you can write off business expenses instead of paying taxes on them. hell, we have community colleges if you want to invest time in getting ahead.
In a perfect world, we'd have a safety net that subsidizes people who want to move up but you have to live in the world as it is. I had a minimum wage job in my 20's. At some point, something clicked and realized I would need to change something radically if I wanted to not be doing that for the rest of my life. So I stopped drinking with my coworkers and started spending my money on books instead. I would go to the cafe and practice web development. eventually I found a guy on linkedin who paid me $200 per gig on some small jobs. it wasn't much but it was enough to start getting some experience. eventually I got a fulltime job paying a salary maintaining websites. It wasn't much but it was enough that I was able to keep a consistent schedule. I kept studying and saved money for 4 years while sharing an apartment to save money. I did't eat meat. just rice, beans and veggies, cooked ahead of time.
with all that cash over 4 years, I sold off everything and flew to san francisco to do a coding bootcamp. finally after years of hard work, I could afford a descent place and wear nice clothes and I met my first girlfriend shortly after.
so I reiterate. if you're single and living paycheck to paycheck. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER before you think about getting into a relationship.
Yeah. Spent more time there than not.
> And whatever amount of money you need to make is determined by the women you are trying to attract.
You deliver this like it dwarfs all other factors considered by superior women. I grew up around those women and I know that that isn't remotely true.
> If you're already in a relationship and have responsibilities (ie: kids) that's different. You obviously can't abdicate preexisting responsibilities and I'm not suggesting that anyone do such a thing.
You've just advocated working one's way out of poverty while in a relationship.
> why are you waiting for a high paying job?
I never said waiting. That came from you.
> you should be focusing on developing a high earning skill.
Yes and I addressed that. You next toss out a number of niche jobs that only a small segment of the public is well adapted to. You offered up statistical anomaly as if window washing was a path anyone could take to a high salary.
You also fairly well hurdle-over the issue where the number of high paying jobs is a fraction of the working age population. Based on your assertion and it's underlying tone, if people are [NEGATIVE ADJECTIVE] enough to lose the employment lottery, they deserve being deprived of the supportive intimate relationships that successful people depend on to be successful.
> If you are living in america, you're already setup with advantages that can put you ahead if you take advantage of them.
We'll take this point on and assume we're discussing white, binary males without crippling health issues, the group it is mostly likely to be true for. For every community of men, who each work consistently hard and well, some eventually land in fortunate positions and some will not. This is reality in America.
For all other groups, the percentage who navigate America well and eventually land in fortunate positions will be less.
I believe I have one example of that dynamic, clever, opportunity seizing ideal you seem to have in your head, me. I talked and taught myself into a lifetime of technical jobs, mostly self employed. I spent a life pulling off the unlikely. I eventually wound up running IT for a region of car dealerships - until the 2008 crash. I pivoted and worked my way into medical support and the ACA put my indy medical clients out of business. I pivoted to corp medical, picked up some big clients and my wife became psychotic - and that led to a decade of my family living in frequent hunger.
A quick note that hiding poverty is mandatory while trying to mine life for opportunities (poverty spooks people). That effort consumes significant energy and resources, which are scarce.
One thing about survivor bias. It fairly well divides people who think they understand broad realities of life from those who do. Once I landed squarely on this side of it, I learned the millions who don't make it have stories a lot like mine.
The American Dream® mentality assumes that life will eventually run out of the worst circumstances, the ones that take down the most tenacious opportunists. For some that's true. For the rest, they learn that life can very well keep it up for 3 or 4 decades. Meaningful social safety nets can mitigate that and allow folks to escape feedback loops a lot sooner. But get that boost, folks have to live in states where those safety nets exist. I don't.
I did finally work my way out of extreme poverty (wife left to become homeless & vulnerable, which allowed the rest of us to make progress). By mid 2021 we had months of living expenses saved up. Yet, like other folks with money in the bank, we nearly became homeless because there was suddenly 1 rental available for each, I don't know - maybe 400 (maybe 1000) applicants. We did manage to beat astronomical odds again and am housed.
It was just in time to come up against ageism. For those of us here, some will succeed and my efforts will be as diligent as theirs. Even so, we all know we're competing for the same shrinking pool of opportunities - and connections aren't as powerful as they used to be.
> So I stopped drinking with my coworkers and started spending my money on books instead.
Sober at 22 and only spent on strict necessities for the next 30 years.
> but you have to live in the world as it is.
Yes. Knowing the world as it really is seems important too.