zlacker

>>femfos+(OP)
There's a dark irony to the idea that the defenses against sexism (standing up and calling people out) are also causing an unintended secondary sexism by discouraging equal treatment out of fear of accusations.

I've held the belief that if a someone can't recognize and clearly identify the differences between criticism based on merits and criticism based on bias, then there is no point attempting to do "what they want," because they don't know how to identify what they want even if they got it.

>>daenz+2J
I think trust is the issue, a person coming to you for answers is coming from a place of vulnerability.

I've solved this in the past by asking the person if they want a comforting lie or an honest truth. I still provide feedback in both ways but the honest truth path is what is taken by most people who are able to take negative feedback correctly.

>>WrtCdE+aK
Everyone thinks they want the honest truth. Has anyone ever told you they want you to lie to them?

>>sidr+PP
Depends on the phrasing - you don't have to call it "comforting lie" - something to the effect of "I can offer some encouraging points about this if you like or if you want critique, we can do that" would also do. I have had people tell me in the past, "I don't want you to solve it for me, just listen", which was a learning experience.