zlacker

>>ericza+(OP)
> Some black people assimilate into white culture while others push toward perfectionism in order to overcome negative stereotypes. Others ignore the microaggressions, despite the sting believing the merit of their work is the most important metric of success.

This has been my experience, balancing everything that is happening with "maybe these microaggressions had nothing to do with race, like all the people on hackernews and linkedin would say" or maybe thats naivete as this is the exact experience other people that look like me are saying happens

"Kind of odd how these mormon investors never look at me during this entire meeting of three people"

"Kind of odd how I keep finding out that my business partners wrote themselves large stakes of newly formed companies, and I have to perform an arbitrary set of work over an arbitrary set of time to maybe get diluted in later"

maybe its just me [and a predictable experience echoed by people that look like me]

On another note, which I think this article gets wrong or doesn't factor in well with the acknowledgement of assimilation, it assumes people of color in the space are trying to service "communities of color". It isn't factoring in the idea that they are playing the same world-changing moonshot game as everyone else, a game that doesn't care about nuances of any particular country's demographics. People are the same and want the spoils of this industry, thats the key thing to remember. Some people have their own idea of addressing underserved communities or paying it forward to people that look like them, but most people are aiming to perpetuate the industry itself.

>>vmcept+N7
I don't mean to minimize your experiences at all. But since you mentioned eye contact, I thought I might as well mention that as someone who suffers from social awkwardness and mild OCD, one result of all the societal discussion around racism is that being around black people often makes me feel very awkward. Like, I have compulsive thoughts about whether I am thinking any racist thoughts right now, or saying racist things, or doing some other microaggression, and that results in some mild social awkwardness / difficulty with eye contact, and difficulty relaxing socially. Which ironically might very well be interpreted as racism :( Again, I don't mean to say that racism is not a thing or anything like that (or even that I myself am never actually racist haha--that's hard to know, that's the issue). Just wanted to add this to your list of hypotheses to consider when you're trying to explain whatever it is that you see.

>>qPM9l3+0i
Sure, thanks for responding, so I didn't say racist or racism or make any conclusion, and that was on purpose!

I left it as open ended as my actual thoughts are, but acknowledge that it would be beneficial to factor in what so many people that look like me are saying are shared experiences.

Yes, I can tell when people are consciously trying to patch their behavior around black people (or other groups), distinct from being actually insensitive and distinct from treating them like people they are actually comfortable around.

You really don't have to feel like you are stepping on eggshells, even in your explanation here. I would call that awkwardness you described as a microaggression because it is an experience that shouldn't be a part of my daily experience, and it shouldn't be something you have to worry about, but in this case it would come from you towards me. So I wouldn't interpret that as "racism", but a peculiarity that is definitely an unnecessary part of the black experience. These kinds of things affect the group decision on whether a candidate passed the "culture fit", and a whole host of other things that ultimately prevent that qualified person from being around everyone else more, or getting into a position over them, simply because the people approving it are uncomfortable for meta reasons. So I think it is important for you to address that and notice it in others as well.