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[parent] [thread] 69 comments
1. OGEnth+(OP)[view] [source] 2025-12-04 18:36:55
American society is at the point where if you don't play these sort of games/tricks, you'll get out-competed by those who do. Bleak.
replies(14): >>acedTr+r1 >>p1esk+h2 >>alwa+G2 >>Rebuff+Q3 >>Barrin+q6 >>psunav+W9 >>dccham+ih >>Beetle+Ul >>d_sili+1m >>raldi+4t >>Father+Wt >>ericmc+SC >>t0lo+o51 >>michae+Yw2
2. acedTr+r1[view] [source] 2025-12-04 18:43:09
>>OGEnth+(OP)
Basic game theory at work right there. You only need a few bad apples to cause the entire system to devolve.
replies(2): >>appare+U9 >>shadow+kh
3. p1esk+h2[view] [source] 2025-12-04 18:46:58
>>OGEnth+(OP)
Pretty sure it was always like this
replies(1): >>SoftTa+Q2
4. alwa+G2[view] [source] 2025-12-04 18:49:11
>>OGEnth+(OP)
But, like—isn’t the bleaker thing that that seems so existential of an outcome? The vast majority don’t go to Stanford. The vast majority of those aren’t valedictorian.

And the vast majority of that vast majority’s lives in the US work out, you know, fine—mostly including things like climate-controlled indoor spaces, ample calories, professional medical care, access to some kind of justice system, going their whole life without participating in war…

replies(2): >>OGEnth+a6 >>lotsof+E6
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5. SoftTa+Q2[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 18:50:10
>>p1esk+h2
No, "disability" used to be something of a stigma. Now it's celebrated, and people proudly identify with it.

If you're saying that people always try to game the system, whatever it is, then I agree however.

replies(3): >>hattma+w4 >>apical+C8 >>jfindp+bc
6. Rebuff+Q3[view] [source] 2025-12-04 18:55:40
>>OGEnth+(OP)
Thats true, but I think the blame is more on "American society" and not the kids working through the system.

50 years ago, college was cheaper. From what I understand getting jobs if you had a college degree was much easier. Social media didn't exist and people weren't connected to a universe of commentary 24/7. Kids are dealing with all this stuff, and if requesting a "disability accommodation" is helping them through it, that seems fine?

replies(3): >>OGEnth+C6 >>smcg+2e >>ericmc+zD
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7. hattma+w4[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 18:59:56
>>SoftTa+Q2
>If you're saying that people always try to game the system, whatever it is, then I agree however.

This isn't even true either. In the past there was a huge emphasis and effort made toward character. Going out of your way to do the right thing and be helpful and NOT getting special treatment but choosing the difficult path.

Now everything is the opposite it's about getting as much special treatment as possible and shirking as much responsibility and this isn't just people it's throughout the corporate and political system as well.

replies(1): >>SoftTa+w5
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8. SoftTa+w5[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 19:06:14
>>hattma+w4
Yeah, good times create weak men, and all that. I agree.
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9. OGEnth+a6[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 19:10:22
>>alwa+G2
> And the vast majority of that vast majority’s lives in the US work out, you know, fine—mostly including things like climate-controlled indoor spaces, ample calories, professional medical care, access to some kind of justice system, going their whole life without participating in war

By those metrics yes, but not by the more important metrics IMO of: buying a house, having a stable job, starting a family, etc.

10. Barrin+q6[view] [source] 2025-12-04 19:11:26
>>OGEnth+(OP)
True but I don't think that's out of the norm. The upper echelons of American society always consisted of a bunch of fake status games and abuses, a legacy admission is basically a socially accepted form of disability. Or non-ability, I guess.

America never had a rigorous meritocratic national system of education, it's a kind of half developed country in that sense that became democratic before it modernized (that is to say patronage survived) so you have this weird combination of family clans, nepo babies and networks competing with people who are where they are based on their performance.

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11. OGEnth+C6[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 19:12:24
>>Rebuff+Q3
Indeed, it's much more reflective of American society in 2025 than it is of the individual students (or even Stanford in general).
replies(1): >>lupire+JA4
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12. lotsof+E6[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 19:12:35
>>alwa+G2
> And the vast majority of that vast majority’s lives in the US work out, you know, fine—mostly including things like climate-controlled indoor spaces, ample calories,

I’ll buy this

>professional medical care, access to some kind of justice system,

I doubt this. Most people in the US are probably aware one healthcare or legal issue in their family will derail the whole family’s future.

That is not to say things are worse than before. But humans view the world in relative terms, and they seem to expect more than reality can offer. And whereas before there was ignorance, today, there is widespread knowledge and visibility into the gulf between the have nots, the haves, and the have even mores.

replies(1): >>ux2664+Qh
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13. apical+C8[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 19:25:04
>>SoftTa+Q2
I can tell you from personal experience as a person with a physical disability that it's still very much a stigma.

It's also very much possible for something to be both a stigma and an identity. In fact, the stigmatization can make the identity stronger.

replies(1): >>Detryt+sb
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14. appare+U9[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 19:30:18
>>acedTr+r1
Yup, a few bad apples start things off, and then after that many others who would have never been the first to do this decide to jump on the bandwagon (lest they be left behind). If it weren't for the shameless folks at the beginning, it wouldn't happen. But once they kick things off, it's a domino effect from there.
15. psunav+W9[view] [source] 2025-12-04 19:30:19
>>OGEnth+(OP)
Depends highly on your field. There are plenty of military personnel and commercial pilots hiding things or avoiding being seen for any kind of treatment, because a diagnosis could lose them their jobs.

Rolling out electronic health records has been a disaster for military recruiting, because such a large portion of kids flat-out lied on the medical screening, and 60+ percent of the population is already disqualified.

replies(2): >>ok_dad+Tc >>jjtheb+Ff
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16. Detryt+sb[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 19:38:03
>>apical+C8
Well, some kinds of disability still are a stigma, but here on HN neurodiversity/autism is celebrated as some kind of superpower, basically.
replies(1): >>apical+3e
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17. jfindp+bc[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 19:41:03
>>SoftTa+Q2
some disabilities have mostly lost their stigma, sure, in some places.

Many have not. Most have not, if you consider the whole world and not just California and Washington or whatever.

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18. ok_dad+Tc[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 19:43:39
>>psunav+W9
Yea I was depressed and it turned into a whole thing. Military especially hide mental issues due to the stigma and chance to lose your livelihood.
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19. smcg+2e[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 19:48:35
>>Rebuff+Q3
Failing out of college can be life-ruining. Tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars of high-interest non-dischargeable debt and employment opportunities completely nuked.
replies(1): >>nradov+ej
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20. apical+3e[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 19:48:35
>>Detryt+sb
I'm aware. See for instance, VC Arielle Zuckerberg's comment that when deciding which founders to fund she looks for "a little of the rizz and a little of the tis" with "rizz" referring to charisma and "tis" to autism.

One could argue that mythologizing a particular characteristic is itself a form of stigma.

replies(1): >>jay_ky+Wg
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21. jjtheb+Ff[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 19:55:28
>>psunav+W9
that's interesting, in that it would be very interesting if it motivates better fitness program funding federally
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22. jay_ky+Wg[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 20:00:09
>>apical+3e
I'm all tis and no rizz
23. dccham+ih[view] [source] 2025-12-04 20:02:19
>>OGEnth+(OP)
Long ago I remember reading society in China was like this. There's SO MANY people that you HAVE TO cheat the system to even maintain pace with your peers, much less get ahead. And cheating is so rampant that it's expected you will do it.

Really sad that mentality seems to be normalizing world-wide.

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24. shadow+kh[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 20:02:31
>>acedTr+r1
Perhaps the fundamental issue isn't the apples; it's the barrel.

If everything is a competition, then of course people will leverage personal advantage for personal gain. But why is everything a competition?

replies(1): >>acedTr+Gy
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25. ux2664+Qh[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 20:04:12
>>lotsof+E6
> Most people in the US are probably aware one healthcare or legal issue in their family will derail the whole family’s future.

Healthcare sure, but for Americans, it is culturally and institutionally seen as a core part of justice that the guilty have their future destroyed. That it affects those dependent on the guilty is a part of that destruction, it's trying to isolate them from others. If you still have your family around, has your life truly been destroyed? Among American people it might not be universal, and may seem absolutely barbaric, but the extreme malignance of American justice is more or less consistent with a wide swath of attitudes Americans have, especially when they're the ones who have been severely harmed.

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26. nradov+ej[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 20:11:17
>>smcg+2e
Come on, let's be serious. Most Stanford undergraduate courses aren't that tough, grade inflation is rampant, and almost anyone who gets admitted can probably graduate regardless of accommodations or lack thereof. We're talking about the difference between getting an A or A- here. And Stanford has such generous financial aid that students from families earning less than $150K get free tuition so no one should be leaving with huge student debts.
replies(2): >>OGEnth+cm >>smcg+1a1
27. Beetle+Ul[view] [source] 2025-12-04 20:22:29
>>OGEnth+(OP)
I've made it a principle to live my life according to certain ideals - one of which is not to play these games/tricks.

I'm doing better than fine.

Have others who cheated done better than me? Sure - some have. Why should I care? I'm a high income earner and I don't need an even wealthier life.

I am not at all an outlier. If you're amongst a crowd that won't value you for not cheating, it's on you to change the crowd you hang out with.

replies(3): >>driveb+Gm >>OGEnth+Kn >>gaws+pZ5
28. d_sili+1m[view] [source] 2025-12-04 20:22:58
>>OGEnth+(OP)
This mentality is defeatist. I rather lose fairly than cheat to win.
replies(1): >>yesfit+wJ3
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29. OGEnth+cm[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 20:23:33
>>nradov+ej
> no one should be leaving with huge student debts.

"In the 2023-24 academic year, 88% of undergraduates graduated without debt, and those who borrowed graduated with a median debt of $13,723." Source: https://news.stanford.edu/stories/2025/02/stanford-sets-2025...

So strictly speaking, not "no one". (But certainly smaller than the national averages.)

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30. driveb+Gm[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 20:25:12
>>Beetle+Ul
Do you have children?

I do. I still subscribe to your ideals or at least mostly follow them. But for lack of playing such games, I saw my children’s opportunities slip away.

replies(4): >>Beetle+Hn >>meindn+VB >>skeete+QG >>alexas+441
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31. Beetle+Hn[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 20:29:36
>>driveb+Gm
My kids are not that old, so it hasn't come to a head yet. I presume you're talking about school performance - particularly closer to high school?

At the same time, we may need to adjust our baseline on what we call "opportunities".

I've lived in other countries, and one of the nice things about the US is how uncompetitive school is. One could (and likely still can) get into a decent "average" university without much difficulty. In other countries, not so. You could be in the top 10% academically and end up in a really low quality university. I would understand playing such games there.

replies(2): >>diogen+Wn1 >>lupire+pz4
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32. OGEnth+Kn[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 20:29:46
>>Beetle+Ul
If you don't mind sharing, which country do you live in? I'd imagine the ability to play fairly and still get ahead varies a lot based on local cultures/norms.
replies(1): >>Beetle+ip
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33. Beetle+ip[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 20:37:03
>>OGEnth+Kn
The US.
replies(1): >>OGEnth+Ys
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34. OGEnth+Ys[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 20:55:18
>>Beetle+ip
Interesting. I'm glad it worked it for you, but unfortunately that's very different from what my personal/anecdotal experience with America has taught me.
replies(1): >>Beetle+iv
35. raldi+4t[view] [source] 2025-12-04 20:55:36
>>OGEnth+(OP)
It's true, if you don't go to the eye doctor, you'll be outcompeted by someone wearing glasses.
36. Father+Wt[view] [source] 2025-12-04 20:59:20
>>OGEnth+(OP)
Reason.com is operated by the kind of people who start the game with generational wealth in their back pocket.
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37. Beetle+iv[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 21:06:11
>>OGEnth+Ys
I think one has to be a bit careful in picking one's goals and priorities. I'm not saying "going the straight path" will lead to success in all endeavors (likely not at Wall Street, for example).

In my case, it so happened that the goals I was pursuing (e.g. job in tech industry) had lots of opportunities that didn't involve playing many games. I think it's still the case today.

But if your goal is "I have to go to an elite university, and become a senior exec at a FAANG", then my way may not work out.

The one variable that's hard to control, though, is how things are growing up (childhood/teen years). You can't control these - your parents/school do. If you grew up in an unfair environment and had poor parents, you may have to play those games. My point is that once you get past those stages, you don't have to convince yourself that you need to continue playing those games.

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38. acedTr+Gy[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 21:23:21
>>shadow+kh
> But why is everything a competition?

For all of human existence there has been competition for limited resources. Until all resource scarcity is eliminated competition will remain in the natural world.

replies(2): >>shadow+kH >>AngryD+rO6
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39. meindn+VB[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 21:41:27
>>driveb+Gm
"A married man with a family will do anything for money." - Charles Maurice De Talleyrand
40. ericmc+SC[view] [source] 2025-12-04 21:46:34
>>OGEnth+(OP)
Can we stop designing society like people won't game the system? I swear every social program or benefit or corporate relief program we roll out is designed to be exploited. In fact they use specific requirements (a doctors note, a set income level, etc.) and not direct oversight/discretion so it is even easier to game because you just need to tick the right box.
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41. ericmc+zD[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 21:50:49
>>Rebuff+Q3
That seems naive, it would be like if we started dumping tons of deer food into the woods and the next year when deer are grossly overpopulated we thought "why are there so many deer now?".

Humans are as a mass dumb animals, if we give them the opportunity for individual gratification at long-term cost for the group they are going to take it immediately.

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42. skeete+QG[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 22:08:00
>>driveb+Gm
>> But for lack of playing such games, I saw my children’s opportunities slip away.

Examples? I most certainly don't play these games and believe my kids are further along in developing the most valuable, lasting characteristic: grit. So many things in life require you to grind, and the only way to gain this is to practice.

replies(2): >>serf+2I >>driveb+VJ
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43. shadow+kH[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 22:11:02
>>acedTr+Gy
That's one theory.

Counter theory: for all of human existence people have shared resources and traded among each other. Yes, for truly scarce resources trade breaks down.

So is "good housing" a scarce resource on Stanford's campus? Or is their default resource allocation schema too anti-human so it's turning something that should be a simple trade and negotiation problem into a knife-fight?

replies(1): >>OGEnth+BV
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44. serf+2I[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 22:13:53
>>skeete+QG
>So many things in life require you to grind, and the only way to gain this is to practice.

getting a kid who doesn't deserve entry to pass a prestige university with as little effort as possible is an effort to short-circuit that concept.

many games to play in this world.

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45. driveb+VJ[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 22:23:09
>>skeete+QG
Children were passed up for elementary school admissions. Whereas the schmoozers and their kids got in.

I can’t provide proper education and practice. There is no grit or grind. They’re just falling further and further behind the ones who actually got access to good schools and teachers.

One who tested highly gifted (145 IQ) after years of educational neglect now tests at 120. It’s pathetic. And even if I spend all my time and money I cannot reverse the decline.

replies(1): >>sleaze+O21
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46. OGEnth+BV[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-04 23:25:56
>>shadow+kH
America is rooted in capitalism, so the resource allocation schema of scarce goods (e.g. nice homes to raise families in) is indeed a knife-fight.
replies(1): >>hypeat+3i4
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47. sleaze+O21[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-05 00:11:44
>>driveb+VJ
Schmoozers learned grit and grind? That's opposite of my experience and observations.

What role do you play in the educational neglect? I am not sure I understand the decline here.

replies(2): >>driveb+w71 >>Beetle+B71
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48. alexas+441[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-05 00:20:38
>>driveb+Gm
Opportunities to be among the insufferable nepo baby cohort?

The most revealing example of this was when I found out how many of UK's 'elite' school children were molested, grew up and proceeded to do everything they can to make sure their children attend these very same 'elite' schools.

Western culture is beyond repair.

49. t0lo+o51[view] [source] 2025-12-05 00:30:39
>>OGEnth+(OP)
I was happy enough getting into the second best uni in my country on my own merit- I know that I could have gotten into the best if I talked about family members and pets passing and personal challenges like all my friends but that doesn't benefit anyone.
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50. driveb+w71[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-05 00:45:48
>>sleaze+O21
145 -> 120 IQ decline

Because I can’t access good schools and teachers. Because I didn’t schmooze to the admissions directors and other gate keepers.

I should’ve worn better clothes, driven a Porsche, and displayed the right shibboleths. Except that even now I’m too immature and stupid to know what they are.

replies(1): >>diogen+do1
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51. Beetle+B71[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-05 00:45:59
>>sleaze+O21
> What role do you play in the educational neglect?

Not the person you're responding to, but that's uncalled for.

There are many variables that go into a child's development. The parents are merely one of them. They can do their best and things can still go south.

replies(1): >>lurkin+Bq1
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52. smcg+1a1[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-05 01:03:37
>>nradov+ej
sorry, I often forget that I went to a university that's actually challenging, and that's not the typical case.
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53. diogen+Wn1[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-05 03:09:51
>>Beetle+Hn
>I've lived in other countries, and one of the nice things about the US is how uncompetitive school is. One could (and likely still can) get into a decent "average" university without much difficulty. In other countries, not so. You could be in the top 10% academically and end up in a really low quality university. I would understand playing such games there.

The difference is you're going to pay nosebleed prices or take out extortionate student loans in the US.

replies(1): >>Beetle+wo1
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54. diogen+do1[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-05 03:11:43
>>driveb+w71
>Except that even now I’m too immature and stupid to know what they are.

This is the bigger problem, not the type of car or clothes you drive. I dress like a schlub and drive a Toyota and don't feel any of the social pressures you're talking about. I think it's in your head.

>145 -> 120 IQ decline

You're also putting way way too much emphasis on this test. The methodology of IQ tests is also entirely questionable. I'd hardly be judging myself as a parent based on this.

replies(1): >>Beetle+Fo1
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55. Beetle+wo1[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-05 03:16:15
>>diogen+Wn1
Yes, but you get to go. In plenty of other countries, there are far fewer seats than students graduating from high school. Being merely above average means no college degree.

(Well, except they also have private schools, but the cost to income ratio is much higher there than here).

replies(1): >>lupire+Tz4
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56. Beetle+Fo1[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-05 03:18:13
>>diogen+do1
> I think it's in your head.

It may be, but it also could be the community/town he lives in. I certainly do know schools where you need to play games to get admission, and dressing like a schlub would exclude you (which is fine, given I have alternatives - he perhaps doesn't).

> The methodology of IQ tests is also entirely questionable. I'd hardly be judging myself as a parent based on this.

Fully agree on ignoring the IQ (why would one even get it tested?)

However, I suspect he does see other signals of decline, and sees those who went to the school achieve more.

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57. lurkin+Bq1[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-05 03:40:09
>>Beetle+B71
from my understanding of educational outcomes, the BIGGEST factor in a child’s success in school is their home life. At least for K-12. Multiple studies come to this conclusion.

Obviously “home life” encompasses many things like parental involvement, stability of family relationships, socioeconomic status, etc. And it’s not the only factor of course.

So the question is hardly uncalled for IMO. Could have been worded in a less accusatory tone though! The person was pretty rude.

58. michae+Yw2[view] [source] 2025-12-05 13:16:34
>>OGEnth+(OP)
I think all societies do this; this is just being human. All human groups migrate to whatever metric or rewards are provided.
replies(1): >>yencab+Ua6
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59. yesfit+wJ3[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-05 18:47:13
>>d_sili+1m
"Cheat" might not be the most helpful way to think about this particular situation. More like a glitch in a multiplayer game.[1]

It's not "cheating" in that players are using the system as-is, and after a critical mass of people adopt it, there is no way to play competitively without it.

The simple answer becomes to patch the behavior out of the system, although that is rarely popular with the people who have adopted the strategy and invested a lot in the system.

1:https://quake.fandom.com/wiki/Bunny_Hopping

replies(1): >>d_sili+Ka5
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60. hypeat+3i4[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-05 21:31:52
>>OGEnth+BV
How is capitalism to blame for local governments implementing various zoning and building code regulations that make it hard+expensive to build?
replies(1): >>AngryD+DO6
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61. lupire+pz4[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-05 23:19:03
>>Beetle+Hn
We are being vague here about "quality" and "average", by in the US, about 15% attend 2-year junior colleges, and about 50% attend 4-year colleges.

About half of those 4-year college students are earning degrees that are mostly filler and would be 2-year colleges plus remedial and/or fluff courses. USA has a very weird college industrial complex.

China, meanwhile is undergroing a massive push to send a majority of the population through some form of college or another.

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62. lupire+Tz4[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-05 23:22:05
>>Beetle+wo1
Whats the ratio? Private 4-year college per year in US costs more the median family income per year
replies(1): >>Beetle+di6
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63. lupire+JA4[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-05 23:26:41
>>OGEnth+C6
2025 didn't invent sneaky.

"Snake oil" is over 100 years old.

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64. d_sili+Ka5[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-06 05:38:03
>>yesfit+wJ3
It is cheating if you are not handicapped but request housing accomodation as such.

"Cheating" is extremely damaging to the fabric of the society, making it zero-trust, while also making people lose the ability to win fairly, either because they cheat all the time, or everyone around them does.

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65. gaws+pZ5[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-06 15:40:26
>>Beetle+Ul
> I've made it a principle to live my life according to certain ideals

What are your ideals?

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66. yencab+Ua6[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-06 17:12:06
>>michae+Yw2
It's much, much, more common in low-trust corrupt societies. USA is one of those.
replies(1): >>michae+Z77
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67. Beetle+di6[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-06 18:14:17
>>lupire+Tz4
> Private 4-year college per year in US costs more the median family income per year

Yes, but it's easier to get into a public university in the US.

In those countries, it's the reverse. Very hard to get into a public university. Private ones mostly exist not for quality, but to cater to rich folks who could not get into a public university.

Which means that in those countries, unless you're quite rich, your only chance is to study like crazy to get into a public university. And by crazy - I know people who didn't do anything but study in the last two years of high school. As soon as they get home from school they'd hit the books, taking breaks only for food. The entrance exams would require an intense amount of memorization.

A random data point: In one country, to get into an MBA program, the entrance exam would ask number theory problems. Not because it's at all related to MBA - they just need to make it harder to filter out more candidates - they simply don't have enough seats.

As for the ratio, I'm sure it's several multiples of the median, because the median is almost poverty level. But it's not a relevant metric, because most of those folks don't even get to finish high school - their economic conditions make them quit to work - the family needs money.

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68. AngryD+rO6[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-06 22:52:19
>>acedTr+Gy
90% of the world was once subsidence farmers and had very little to no competition.
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69. AngryD+DO6[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-06 22:54:46
>>hypeat+3i4
Because they have financial interests that benefit from making it hard and expensive to build. People who own property will lose property value if there is less scarcity. And government workers are hired specifically to extract money from permitting and inspections and application costs.
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70. michae+Z77[view] [source] [discussion] 2025-12-07 02:01:56
>>yencab+Ua6
cite?
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