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[return to "I'm 34. Here's 34 things I wish I knew at 21"]
1. morale+E6[view] [source] 2026-01-22 12:42:48
>>clowes+(OP)
>If you're a man, one of your hardest battles may be not giving in to sexual urges that cause harm to others.

What the ...

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2. kibbul+V6[view] [source] 2026-01-22 12:44:53
>>morale+E6
Author telling on himself here
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3. elliot+ac[view] [source] 2026-01-22 13:16:34
>>kibbul+V6
Hi there – author of the post here. I included this quite intentionally.

I consider rape and sexual assault to be one of the worst things one human can do to another – just behind murder and torture. And yet society is littered with it. Ask any woman (and some men), she'll more than likely have a story. And it should be obvious: don't sexually hurt people! I _shouldn't_ need to include this in a simple list of rules for life. But sadly, I feel I do.

I've noticed advice articles, personal development books, and "self-help" podcasts aimed largely at men never seem to address this simple fact: far too many men commit or have thoughts of sexual violence. This was true hundreds of years ago and it's still true now. These men are out there, amongst us. They're "good" in every other way – they're kind to strangers, they love their mother, they're great fathers to their kids (how many of the world's great men have an "allegations" section on their Wikipedia page for goodness sake?). And yet they give in to this disgusting, horrific lust that ends up ruining someone's life (and often their own).

I purposefully included it in my list, because others don't. Because it appears to be something that more men struggle with than people realise.

I don't care if it's taboo. If my post stops just one man acting on his evil desires and harming a woman, man, or child, it was worth it as far as I'm concerned, despite the controversy I've stirred up.

Having said that, if what I wrote was clumsy, inconsiderate or implies I have similar desires – as you and theblazehen suggests – then I do apologise. I am NOT on the side of rapists.

Edit: I probably should have mentioned that my advice was meant to also cover cheating on your partner as a form of "harm", as well as sexual assault. But maybe I was too vague.

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4. thebla+cJ[view] [source] 2026-01-22 15:51:31
>>elliot+ac
Appreciate your explainer, and agreed with you. The way it was written came off to me as "don't worry about the pain you cause others for their sake, avoid causing pain because it'll be bad for yourself"
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