One would expect 37 years would be enough to create such alternative.
Jupiter notebooks aren't the same.
The notebooks are also difficult to version control (unreadable diffs for minor changes), and unit testing is clearly just an afterthought. Also the GUI performance is bad. Put more than a hand full of plots on a page, and everything slows to a crawl. What keeps me coming back is the comprehensive function library, and the formula inputs. I find it quite difficult to spot mistakes in mathematical expressions written in Python syntax.
Same about your criticism of error handling and control flow: https://reference.wolfram.com/language/guide/RobustnessAndEr...