First, let’s set aside the separate question of whether monopolies are bad. They are not good but that’s not the issue here.
As to architecture:
Cloudflare has had some outages recently. However, what’s their uptime over the longer term? If an individual site took on the infra challenges themselves, would they achieve better? I don’t think so.
But there’s a more interesting argument in favour of the status quo.
Assuming cloudflare’s uptime is above average, outages affecting everything at once is actually better for the average internet user.
It might not be intuitive but think about it.
How many Internet services does someone depend on to accomplish something such as their work over a given hour? Maybe 10 directly, and another 100 indirectly? (Make up your own answer, but it’s probably quite a few).
If everything goes offline for one hour per year at the same time, then a person is blocked and unproductive for an hour per year.
On the other hand, if each service experiences the same hour per year of downtime but at different times, then the person is likely to be blocked for closer to 100 hours per year.
It’s not really bad end user experience that every service uses cloudflare. It’s more-so a question of why is cloudflare’s stability seeming to go downhill?
And that’s a fair question. Because if their reliability is below average, then the value prop evaporates.
I disagree; most people need only a subset of Cloudflare's features. Operating just that subset avoids the risk of the other moving parts (that you don't need anyway) ruining your day.
Cloudflare is also a business and has its own priorities like releasing new features; this is detrimental to you because you won't benefit from said feature if you don't need it, yet still incur the risk of the deployment going wrong like we saw today. Operating your own stack would minimize such changes and allow you to schedule them to a maintenance window to limit the impact should it go wrong.
The only feature Cloudflare (or its competitors) offers that can't be done cost-effectively yourself is volumetric DDoS protection where an attacker just fills your pipe with junk traffic - there's no way out of this beyond just having a bigger pipe, which isn't reasonable for any business short of an ISP or infrastructure provider.