But I sympathize with OP. He is not a developer and it is sad that whatever software engineers produce is vulnerable to script kiddies. Exposing database or any server with a good password should not be exploitable in any way. C and C++ has been failing us for decades yet we continue to use such unsafe stacks.
If I'm not mistaken, there's a self-hosted alternative that let's you run the core of Tailscale's service yourself if you're interested in managing wireguard.
The main reason I haven't jumped into hosting wireguard rather than using Tailscale is mainly because I reach for Tailscale to avoid exposing my home server to the public internet.
It works over UDP so it doesn't even send any acknowledgement or error response to unauthenticated or non-handshake packets.