But I sympathize with OP. He is not a developer and it is sad that whatever software engineers produce is vulnerable to script kiddies. Exposing database or any server with a good password should not be exploitable in any way. C and C++ has been failing us for decades yet we continue to use such unsafe stacks.
If I'm not mistaken, there's a self-hosted alternative that let's you run the core of Tailscale's service yourself if you're interested in managing wireguard.
The main reason I haven't jumped into hosting wireguard rather than using Tailscale is mainly because I reach for Tailscale to avoid exposing my home server to the public internet.