when I am supposed to fix tech debt? if every week there is another functionality going out that needs to be done yesterday? Do you think that I have to do it in my free time? Why should I even bother existing
On a mature project in a small team, the only tickets left were hard bugs that nobody wanted. The kind of bugs where you can invest days and have nothing really to show for it except crossing out some suspicions. Or maybe incorrectly crossing one out and then going on a wild goose chase until you circle back to it in a week, flustered.
You're expected to commit all of your mental energy to these tickets day after day, and then once you finally triumph and solve the bug after coffee or amphetamine binges, you turn in the code, close the ticket, and you're expected to immediately work on the next ticket.
You don't get a real break. But you can mentally rest at the start of the next ticket since nobody expects instant results. But now it's been a couple days and people are asking you what you've been doing so far—you must be blocked, right?—but you've barely started and you're pressured to invent small lies and excuses about why you're behind, each one risking yet another slip of the mask.
And when you need some time off the most, it's when you're the most behind of all and people have begun to notice, so taking the time off doesn't even seem like an option.
This is due to their lack of technical knowledge and they have accepted this reality because the outcomes that they want do end up happening so they dont rock the boat(or know how to since they can't discern technical stuff).
I know its a great spot to be in short term but Ive been scared because long term I will be in a big hole when the next role comes along and its more like what you describe and I haven't grown to match the role. I've considered leaving once the market improves but I don't think I can fathom giving up what I have either. Alternatively I have considered staying until I eventually get downsized but that could be years. I don't know.... :/