I find myself becoming my worst self on here, whether I want to or not, in reaction to others being their worst selves too. It's difficult to rise above the fray. Dang must have infinite patience, but I don't, and most people don't seem to either. Dang sets an example that few are willing to follow. I also feel that he gives people way too much lenience. It's like, "I see you've violated the guidelines badly multiple times lately. That's not cool. If you don't stop, then I might have to ban you, someday in the future, or maybe not. I'll give you one... hundred more chances." I'm exaggerating here, but only slightly. ;-)
I know that some commenters think that HN is great place for intelligent, friendly discussion. I personally don't understand that. It's like we live in different worlds. But I'm certainly not alone in seeing HN as "toxic", something mentioned in the linked article, as well as by people I know elsewhere. I come here for the topics, which are often very interesting to me, yet all too often I come away from HN regretting my participation. Maybe this is just a bad habit that needs breaking. :-)
I also get dragged into discussions I find ... less than productive (happened earlier today). Much as I'm consciously aware of these and try not to get into them, there are times when both it's not clear that you have entered into the Fire Swamp until you're well and truly mired in it, and speaking for myself there's quite often a very-difficult-to-shake belief that one can argue or demonstrate one's way out of a situation.
Though often I do find some success in collapsing a thread once it's clear, after one or two comments to it, that discussion won't progress.
As for moderation, if you do see egregious misconduct, EMAIL THE MODS. They really do read mail, and they do engage.
Most of my own emails are over other issues: titles, preferable URLs, and nominations for the 2nd chance queue. But I'll occasionally point out badly-behaving accounts, and have heard back on those virtually always.
Dang does give a lot of 2nd chances, especially for well-established accounts. New/green profiles starting off badly, or known sockpuppets, get far more summary justice.
Yes, exactly!
> As for moderation, if you do see egregious misconduct, EMAIL THE MODS. They really do read mail, and they do engage.
Well, I'd rather not become an unpaid moderator myself. This is why I said that there's not enough moderation to go around.
Another problem with emailing the mods, related to your first quote, is that once you're well and truly mired in the Fire Swamp, your own hands are not clean anymore, and you've probably violated the HN guidelines yourself to some extent. Condescending repliers often bring you down to their level.