Going to share my story, I'm sorry how it comes off. If I was better at writing, I'm sure I could sound humble or something. I also did not censor anything controversial, I hope this can give my single people in their 30s and 40s some ideas. Although admittedly the dating market was different.
On growing as a person:
My wife really liked one of the homework assignments I had in my masters degree. She said 'lets do more of this at home'. Later she said 'You should write a book'. It turned me into a serial entrepreneur. It has turned me into a lame video gamer, into someone that gets 15 minutes of fame at conferences. I can see my impact on the world already, its cool that other people have read my work and are debunking myths without me having to jump into a thread to point them out anymore. Not to mention, my skills have skyrocketed past peers since I work on valuable things in the evening. I am obsessed with reading non-fiction now, I didn't expect this as a B student in high school. Happiness is like a 9/10 or 10/10.
On Money:
Having 2 earners mean that we can take risks with one income and always pay the bills.
I have been the big earner in the house for the last 11 years, during this time my wife became a doctor and started a clinic. We never took out loans because I could pay them off. After school she was making some money, which made being a contract worker easier(although I'm so frugal, it was never much of an issue). Now with her clinic, we are looking at ~500k/yr in profit in the next few years, at that point, its easy to sell the business.
Financially it was a great decision.
On Family:
I'm pretty sure that my happiness most likely comes from a successful evolutionary course. Wife + kids (+ financial security). Before kids, my happiness was dependent on my entrepreneurship or if I won in starcraft. The only thing that sucks is having to get a babysitter for evenings. Outside of that, every evening when I pick up the kids from daycare is bliss, even if someone is always crying. Maybe your frontal lobe can deny biology, but the rest of my body cannot. (Also, daycare is great, I tried being a stay at home dad... that sucked)
My tips:
Serial date, I dated 22 people between the ages of 18-19 with only 2 deal breakers(overweight[self control] or bought Apple products[intelligence]). I was probably rejected ~100 times, either outright, or by body language. I always looked for public events and would waste gas to get there. Girl number 22 was the one, Straight A student but never wore makeup. She was a gem. Being shallow, I had her do her hair and makeup a few months into dating. It didn't really matter, today I think she is hot even when she wakes up.
Maybe grab a girl from college, get a masters if you need to. I hate to say things like "The good ones are taken", but I have (girl) friends who are single in their 30s, there is something seriously wrong with all of them. Mostly alcoholism, but more likely a cocktail of other drugs too, and a dash of mental illness.
I was nerdy skinny when I dated these 22 people, but I'd recommend lifting weights, doing your hair, and trying to be a great person.
If your relationship is on the fritz, try MDMA therapeutically. I can't say our relationship was, but it helped us figure out a few controversial issues like where to place TVs in our new house.
For me, it was tabs vs. spaces. I mean, come on.