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[return to "Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up"]
1. at_a_r+vs[view] [source] 2021-03-28 21:17:47
>>femfos+(OP)
The payout matrix for "give honest advice / don't give honest advice" has changed, radically. Then some people noticed that, and then their behavior changed to match. It isn't punishing anyone, it's adaptation to a new risk. The "Pence Fence" is a defensive strategem and it didn't arise in a vacuum. It is a costly defense, too, so it being kept up is likely worth the cost to mitigate the risk.

Most of what comes after when discussing the issue is "how to 'fix' this 'problem.'" by encouraging men to speak anyway. But that is the wrong approach, because it relies on people changing their behavior back like hurling themselves on grenades -- you can't count on it. Still high-risk, low-reward. Perhaps even no-reward. Making plans on people (well, men in this instance but it could be anyone) being irrationally drawn to self-sacrifice is not going to pan out, especially if your reputation is destroyed in the mix after. Leaping on grenades typically earns a medal, but here it gets you vilification.

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2. kamaal+qq1[view] [source] 2021-03-29 06:50:18
>>at_a_r+vs
>>The payout matrix for "give honest advice / don't give honest advice" has changed, radically.

It has always been that way. In 'How to win friends, and influence people' Dale Carnegie brings forward this wonderful concept of letting people win arguments, suffering fools gladly, and almost always agreeing with people. Unless something very big is at stake.

Giving advice, being critical and helping people through feedback is almost always a bad idea. For starters you must let people fail. This has benefits, it helps them learn from experience and is a character building experience. If the person refuses to learn from experience, well then whatever feed back would be useless anyway.

Just see how many people require walking around them on egg shells. You have to handle their feelings with kid gloves, or have your career destroyed.

Even in general things, good advice is available in mainstream media and advice for ages. People still have bad finances, and lifestyle diseases. Advice, feedback mostly don't work.

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