I'm only half joking. Fundamentally, the thread is about a filtering system.
Perhaps you could give everyone a comment bot, like a green/red bar that says whether the comment looks like low quality or high quality as you're typing it. A lot of people might edit the comment to make it better, or simply delete the comment (you could design UI to encourage this ... eg RBM's can highlight which words look like they're causing the problem, or offer a Kill Comment "X" when the comment is far into the red).
You could also train the bayesian filter on (graphwise) voting patterns, rather than on comments as bags of words.