I am unemployable because I'm a white male whose in his 40s, has a family, and because somehow, in this industry experience is a bad thing.
It amazes me how intolerant of age and differing opinion tech culture is.
What indications do you have that those are the reasons you are unemployable?
I have many well respected, senior coworkers who fit this description so at least personally I don't understand why people would be hesitant to hire you based on that description alone..
The temptation to blame victims is strong. I think it comes from wanting to reassure oneself that "it can't happen to me." So you have to actively silence that voice in your head, and assume that victims are actually victims unless there's real evidence to the contrary.
As advice for senior people, I'd suggest: don't apply for junior jobs. Apply to lead large teams, or start your own company. It can be more stressful than coding, but that's the way the industry is structured.
General experience doesn't mean much since there are few standards. Ones experience would generally be used to take more responsibility, do more important things or in other ways advance ones career. Not as some measurement of quality, since that would be very subjective.
In a changing industry it would even be expected that when things change a certain amount of people won't last, because they get squeezed out between new people coming up and old people already specialized.
So while surely part of the industry focuses to much on youth I think people jump the conclusion that it is widespread too quickly.